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The Sorry Works! Coalition is pleased to provide our readers with an un-edited interview with Dr. Aaron Lazare, M.D, Chancellor and Dean of the Massachusetts Medical School, and author of the book, “On Apology.” Dr. Lazare’s book is available at all major book stores and on-line. Also, contact information for his publisher is available under the Favorite Books section of this website. We hope you find this interview informative and enjoyable.
SW! Tell us in your own words why “On Apology” is an important book.
Dr. Lazare: An apology is one of the most important interchanges between individuals, groups, and nations. It is a communication that many of us long to receive from others and yet struggle to offer.
This book is important for several reasons. (1) It is one of just a few books on the subject of apology. (2) More than a “how to” book, On Apology attempts to understand the psychology of apology. (3) The book is organized into chapters that have relevance to every reader: why apologies are growing in importance, why apologies heal, the structure of successful apologies, the timing of apologies, why apologies are often delayed, motives to apologize, why people avoid apologizing, and why many apologies can be understood as negotiations between two parties. This organization and analysis clarifies why apologies succeed or fail. (4) The meaning and analysis of apologies are illustrated by numerous apologies from current affairs (e.g. recent presidents), history (e.g. Lincoln’s Second Inaugural Address), literature (e.g. Homer’s Iliad), and personal stories of the author, his friends and acquaintances. (5) The book explains why forgiveness is sometimes offered only in response to an apology. (6) The book’s personal and intimate style, enhanced by numerous stories, helps to engage the reader.
SW! You are the Chancellor and Dean of the University of Massachusetts Medical School. How has this book been received by your school?
Dr. Lazare: The book has been well received by students (medical students, graduate nursing students, biologic science PhD students), their faculty, and the parents of students. Its relevance goes beyond patient care and extends to relationships between peers, friends and family.
Having the chancellor/dean as the author of the book is a statement that civility is an important value of the institution. Other related values that the book advocates in stressing the importance of apologies are honesty, generosity, commitment and courage.
Most people advocate such values but are silent about them. Having the leadership of an institution reinforce them through a concrete piece of work (a book) facilitates their adoption.
The parents of medical students, with whom I become acquainted, commonly become advocates of the book to family, friends and their communities.
It is gratifying that two prestigious universities in Boston (a nearby metropolis) and two equally prestigious educational institutions in Dallas have organized major speaking engagements whose main focus is On Apology.
SW! What important lessons can doctors and health care providers learn from your book?
Dr. Lazare: The most profound lesson that doctors and health care providers can learn from On Apology is that apologizing to patients and their families for medical errors is both an ethical and a psychological remedy for damage to the professional/patient relationship. The apology is an ethical statement because is right to admit to a mistake and express regret and remorse in a relationship in which the patient puts his/her life in the caregiver’s hands. The apology further heals the care giver/ patient relationship by the very nature of the acknowledgement, explanation, expression of remorse and offer of reparation. As a result of the apology, the relationship is usually preserved and often enhanced. This outcome is a result of the restoration of the dignity of the patient, the offering of power to the previously powerless patient, the validation to the patient that something went wrong, and restoration of or compensation for some or all of the damage for the harm that was done.
Doctors and health care providers can also learn how apologies resolve some of the offenses that naturally occur between health care professionals at work as well as within families.
SW! Your book has been well received in many different circles (legal, religious, business, etc.) Why are so many different groups of people hungry to learn about apology and forgiveness?
Dr. Lazare: The hunger for apologies applies to most individuals and groups who want to survive and thrive in the global village in which we all live. Certain groups, nevertheless, have a special interest in the apology process.
Religious groups are interested in apologies because of its similarities to repentance. Business groups are interested as they advocate teamwork in the company and customer satisfaction. Law schools are interested in apology as an important part of alternative dispute resolution. Hospice care organizations are interested since clients who are near death often want to apologize before they die. Health care providers are interested in apology in the context of medical mistakes. Conflict resolution groups both in business as well as in international peace seeking use apology as one of their tools. Finally, high schools and colleges use apology to teach civility and conflict resolution as character building. Many of the above groups are beginning to recognize the importance of apology and its application to their work. Equally important, they learn that the skill of apologizing can be taught and learned.
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